What You Need to Know About Grace

What You Need to Know About Grace

99 Thoughts for Parents of Teenagers

Yesterday I finished reading the very excellent little book 99 Thoughts for Parents of Teenagers by Walt Mueller, founder of the Center for Parent and Youth Understanding. Walt does a tremendous job of offering insights that are not just cute statements but nuggets of truth filled with and grounded on solid theology. It's a MUST-HAVE for every parent (whether your child is already a teenager or not). Click on the 10% Off Coupon at top of this blog to purchase the book at Simply Youth Ministry. Stick it in your bathroom (that's what I do ... seriously!), put it on your nightstand (that's what my wife does), throw it in your car to read while you're sitting waiting for your kids to finish soccer practice, whatever. Invest in yourself as a parent! Below are a few samples from the book.

1. TEENAGERS ARE A BLESSING, NOT A CURSE.
I will never forget the overwhelming wonder and amazing joy I felt when my first child (and all three since) was born. “I’m not worthy! What did I do to deserve this?” is what I cried out to God in gratitude for this great gift. Shortly thereafter, our daughter became a teenager. During my weaker moments, the challenges, confrontations, and difficulties sometimes left me asking God, “What have I done to deserve this?” Then I was reminded of Solomon’s wise and truthful words: Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift? the fruit of the womb his generous legacy? Like a warrior’s f istful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth. Oh, how blessed are you parents, with your quivers full of children! (Psalm 127:3-5 The Message). Whether God graces you with easy parenting times or strengthens you during difficult parenting times, those children God gave you were gifts on the day they were born—and that hasn’t changed! They still are.

5. ADMIT IT: THE TEENAGE YEARS ARE TOUGH!
It helped us to view our teenagers as people stuck in an earthquake—the earthquake known as adolescence. Think about it. The teen years arrive swiftly, pass rather quickly, and radically alter the landscape of a child’s life. And just like real- life earthquakes, the earthquake of adolescence leaves its victims feeling all kinds of stress. They are juggling physical growth, new sexual urges, changing relationships, a host of new pressures, the quest for finding answers to a multitude of questions, and the desire to belong. Next time you’re ready to throw in the parenting towel, picture your teenager struggling to live through the onset and aftermath of an earthquake. They need you now more than ever!

9. PATIENCE IS A PRIMARY PARENTAL VIRTUE!
How easy it would be if adolescence were an overnight phenomena. But the process of moving from childhood to adulthood takes time. In today’s world, the assumption that the adolescent years cease and a teenager becomes an adult at the age of 18 is no longer valid. New discoveries regarding the biochemistry and physiology of the human brain, along with a host of cultural forces (later marriage, extended college education, massive debt, living at home, delayed maturity) have fueled things like extended adolescence and emerging adulthood. Both are nice-sounding terms that when translated simply mean that our children are taking longer to grow up. Some are even wondering if adolescence extends to the age of 30! This process can be grueling and frustrating for those parents who desperately want to see their teenagers make good choices on the road to adulthood and arrive at the destination sooner rather than later. The tables turn, and we become the ones asking over and over, “Are we there yet?!?” Remember, God is at work and the process may take some time. Be patient!

13. GOOD PARENTS DON’T ALWAYS RAISE GOD-HONORING CHILDREN.
A great amount of parental guilt has been fueled by taking the words of Proverbs 22:6 as a promise: Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. The first half of that Proverb includes an imperative that we must follow. The responsibility we have to nurture our children in the faith is non-negotiable. But the result mentioned in the second half isn’t, as we tend to think, a guarantee. Rather, it’s a general statement about the way things may end up. The reality is that history and the world around us—maybe even the world in our own home—is filled with examples of wonderful, committed, diligent God-honoring parents whose first priority in life has been to train up their children in the way they should go, only to see some of those children choose to go in the opposite direction. The first father we read about in the Bible—God, the perfect Father—saw his first two children, Adam and Eve, rebel. There are many families where good parents have raised multiple children, some who have chosen the narrow path that leads to life, and others who have eagerly pursued the wider road that leads to destruction. What we can’t forget is that ultimately, God’s Spirit is the one responsible for bringing about the change in our children’s hearts. We have no clue when that change may come. Our duty is to remain faithful and obedient in our calling as followers of Jesus who have been charged with the task of nurturing our children in the faith—regardless of their response to our efforts at any given point in time. And just as God continues to love his rebellious children, we need to do the same.

99 Thoughts for Parents of Teenagers

Reach Out Don't Freak Out!

Joshua is only in 6th grade, but he already gets it. He understands that the good news of Jesus is not something to be selfishly hoarded, but generously shared with others. A few weeks ago he arrived at our middle school program with three of his friends from school. The next week he invited those three back and more. His dad was so excited and supportive of his passion that he crammed Joshua and six other kids into the car and got them all here where they have been having a blast and hearing the gospel.

Joshua's passion for the lost is exciting. Wanting to encourage and equip him, a few weeks ago I gave him Greg Stier's new book Reach Out Don't Freak Out - a 30-Day devotional for students to motivate them with practical tips for sharing their faith. As he was reading it, God really deepened his understanding and gave him the boldness to do what he did. When I asked him how the book has helped him, Joshua replied, "I learned how to start spiritual conversations with my friends and ask them questions about God."

If you are looking for simple, practical way to help your students be more effective in reaching their friends for Christ, use the 10% Off Coupon at top of this blog to purchase the book at Simply Youth Ministry. It's listed under "Books for Students" or you can search for it by title: "Reach Out Student Devotional."

Reach Out Don't Freak Out!

Poll: When do you have a regular devotional time with God?

Click here to vote.

Poll: When do you have a regular devotional time with God?

Do You Know What Your Kids Are Listening To?

Do you know what your kids are pumping into their minds and hearts through the media they are exposing themselves to? What songs are they listening to? What TV shows are they watching? What movies are they seeing? What websites are they visiting? As parents we need to know what our culture is throwing at our kids, not so that we can go hide in our Christian bunkers, but so that we can engage our kids and help them discover the messages in media, discern, and decide if it's worth listening to or watching. Walt Mueller, founder of the Center for Parent & Youth Understanding is leading the way in challenging families to work through these things together. Here are the Billboard Top 10 songs this week, followed by a blog post about Lady Gaga's song and video. By the way, if you have not listened to the song IN IT'S ENTIRETY, you need to!

Billboard Top Ten:

1. Born This Way - Lady Gaga
2. F**k You (Forget You) - Cee Lo Green
3. E.T. - Katy Perry Featuring Kanye West
4. S&M - Rihanna
5. On the Floor - Jennifer Lopez Featuring Pitbull
6. F**kin’ Perfect - Pink
7. Grenade - Bruno Mars
8. Tonight (I’m Lovin’ You) - Enrique Iglesias Featuring Ludacris & DJ Frank E
9. Till the World Ends - Britney Spears
10. Blow - Ke$ha

Walt's Blog Post about Lady Gaga's new song. 

Do You Know What Your Kids Are Listening To?

A Middle School Top 10

Monday night at PI-678 (our middle school program), I had the students get together in small groups and come up with their Top 10 Characteristics of a Good Friend. After having them share their thoughts I gave a talk on friendships.

The Big Idea was: "I have to be the kind of friend I want."

When I got home I compiled their lists. Here are the Top 10 overall qualities they look for in a friend (in order):

1. Kind
2. Respectful
3. Honest/Truthful
4. Caring
5. Trustworthy
6. Loyal
7. Encouraging
8. Common Interests
9. Helpful
10. Good Listener

A Middle School Top 10